tales.

After my quiet time this morning I picked up my iPhone, and somehow it looked different. A little shorter and wider, not quite the same shape as before, almost like I was watching widescreen TV squished into a little 4:3.

Obviously it hadn’t changed shape in the time I was spending on Jesus. But the way I saw it was different. My view was changed by spending time with Him.

I just felt God remind me through this very practical example that, when we climb up to where He is, our perspective changes and we start to see things through His eyes.

PS Leaving your iPhone/other mobile device in the other room while you focus on Jesus is a good idea. Use a ‘proper’ bible, a notepad and pen.

You are significant. And so is everyone else.

I was catching up on some reading this morning (Supernatural Ways Of Royalty, which I’ve been meaning to pick up again for weeks) and I was struck by the concept of everyone’s significance.

Kris Valloton makes some really interesting (and some would say controversial) points in chapter 9 (“All the way down to the top”), my favourite of which is:

Religion emasculates and castrates people in the name of humility!

I have to say that many times in the past I’ve fallen into the the trap of false humility - which is actually just pride, worn differently, with a side measure of self-loathing and self-pity. Being down on myself isn’t an option any more - when you criticise the way you’re made, you criticise the One who made you, and that’s not ok. It’s not simply about not criticising though, it’s about coming to terms with the fact that I’m amazing because I’m made in the image of One who is amazing. When I acknowledge that my awesomeness is entirely down to His goodness, it moves from pride into worship. Which I’m totally up for.

One of things that I’ve long accepted about God is that He’ll gladly use “little old me” to fulfill His plans and purpose here on earth. In the light of my significance, that’s no longer true… He’ll do incredible things through my life because He’s made me to partner with Him to do incredible things! The people He used in scripture to move forward His Kingdom were often those looked down on by the world. But in God’s eyes, they were important, significant and chosen. It’s a subtle shift in my thinking but it has a profound impact for my life (and yours if you’re anywhere near me). I am not used because I am insignificant (and therefore God get the glory) but because I am significant (but He gets all the glory anyway because He made me).

Jesus didn’t wash the disciples’ feet because He thought he deserved to be their servant, but because He loved them and wanted to serve them. We can get stuck in thinking “I have to be the most lowly and serve the most because that’s what I’m meant to do” when really we should be moved by our love for others and serve them out of that context.

To use those oft-quoted words, “humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less” - being secure in who you are doesn’t mean you spend all day narcissistically thinking about how incredible you are, rather, you know that so deep down in your very core that you don’t have to worry about it any more. Yes, we’ll need reminding from time to time. And of course, stuff happens to us over the course of our lives that needs dealing with.

What ultimately helps me remember who I am is coming to the one who made me, who knows me and who speaks with all authority about me.

And as I come to realise how significant I am, I can’t help but realise how significant you are too. We’re becoming a “nameless, faceless generation” not because of our lack of identity, but rather because we ALL have in incredible identity, we ALL do the stuff, we ALL give Him the glory.

I think my brain had kicked into overdrive - I’ve received so much rich teaching in the last few weeks, but somehow I’m managing to kind of keep track of it all. I think it may have something to do with the fact I’m actually taking notes (for the first time in many moons) and then re-reading them when I can. As well as trying to recount the best bits to Em via Skype.

Skype has been an absolute god-send, I’m not sure what I would do without its wonderful video-calling features making it possible to talk to my beautiful wife for free from halfway round the globe. Having it on my phone is brilliant as well, much better for a) not having to take my laptop everywhere and b) feeling like I’m from the future.

Today has been a good day, like a PBJ sandwich- church morning and evening was the bread (seeded with revelation and holy ghost good times), time at Starbucks reading my notes the peanut butter (smooth, of course) and a dip in our pool the jelly (the funny thing is, I actually mean jam!).

God’s really been teaching me a lot about who I am and how I think and how that affects the way I live. It’s cool to think how our lives might look different if we begin to address some of our belief systems (and therefore our thoughts and words, therefore the ecosystems we create around ourselves that perpetuate our belief systems…). I’ve also felt challenged (by Kris Vallotton’s messages) to revisit some of the old prophetic words I’ve been given and begin to treasure them a bit more - I’ve kept most of the stuff I’ve ever received safe and in the same place together, but I want to re-read and copy some of the stuff out to take with me. Paul told Timothy to do the same… good enough for me.

Tomorrow is July 4th, which of course is the day Great Britain celebrates having washed its hands of America (or something like that) so there’s no School of Worship - instead a few of us are planning to head up to Mt Shasta to see the snow and check out the views (as well as meet with God on the mountain!) then fireworks at Turtle Bay. Looking forward to celebrating it with a wonderful american cheeseburger of some sort too!! (I hit an animal style double double earlier - if you know what that means you know it was amazing)

I got to be in the crowd for one night of the video shoot for the new Bethel Music DVD, which is (probably) going to be called ‘The Loft Sessions’ - it’s a more folky, indie-style take of worship and was a wonderful experience. Lots of acoustic arpeggios, banjos, pretty piano parts, violin and cello. The 5 songs I was there for were brilliant (especially ‘We Lift You Up’ by the man they call ‘Riddle’) - so good in fact that it was actually fun to hear them all repeated 4 or 5 times while the camera crew got different angles. They did another 5 songs the following night (which I wasn’t there for) and then on Saturday I had the privilege of helping tear down and unload the gear - part of the day involved packing a van with stuff - seems I can’t escape it here in Redding either.

Other highlights from the last few days include: watching Super 8, hearing Steve & Wendy Backlund speak at Friday Night service (including a mention for the Vinelife Podcast, a good testimony that something I do actually makes a difference to someone’s life), Ray Hughes’ messages (including this one from Friday) and the drum circle on Saturday evening at the prayer chapel.

Right now there is a sleepy dog on my bed, so I will attempt to remove him and go to sleep myself.

I wish I could put the last few weeks into eloquent words, but I don’t think I could manage even a monosyllabic drivel about it because I’m not entirely sure exactly all that God has started, accomplished and envisioned in me during my stay here. All I know is that it’s all good!

I’ve had an incredible time learning about all things worship (and lots of non-worship-specific things!), hung out with some awesome people, had some profound times of encounter and been immersed in a wonderful church culture. The weather has been splendid, I’ve eaten excellent American cuisine and the house I’ve been staying in has been a real blessing.

So in short, it’s been great and I’m sad to leave.

On the other hand I’m so ready to come home, go on a date with my beautiful wife, spend time with my friends, love on my church family and read the BBC website without adverts.

Sad to leave Redding, happy to come home to Manchester.

I know that everything that I want to unpack and outwork may well take time to do but God is always patient with me so I guess I can do the same with Him!

Excited for a day of travel tomorrow!!

Had a brilliant rest of the week! Most of it has been the Kingdom Culture conference, which was full of life-changing teaching and incredible worship.

Wednesday evening throught to Friday evening was Bethel’s annual Kingdom Culture conference, which we go to attend as Worship School students. We were put in the Twin View campus (Bethel’s second site and home to some of the School of Ministry stuff) which was amazing because it was essentially our own little conference - we had all the same speakers come in and do the same messages for us and some incredibly intense and intimate times of worship. There was so much freedom in worship - we really went for it and God did some great things in hearts and lives!

The teaching was from all the big-hitters in Bethel (with the exception of Bill Johnson, just a little sad that he and Beni are on sabbatical while I’m here!!) and all locked into the theme of cultivating a Kingdom culture in our churches and environments. Community, love, value, glory… so many things to take a hold of and implement in my own life, as well as figuring out how that impacts my sphere of influence.

Saturday was fun - officially a day off so I went treasure hunting again. Probably my favourite thing about it was that we got to practice praying for healing and words of knowledge on one another before hand… a bunch of people got healed, some people’s legs which were mis-aligned grew out to equal length, crazy stuff! Some accurate words of knowledge as well, for me and for others. The actual treasure hunt wasn’t the most dramatic one I’ve ever done - we got to pray with and love on about 3 groups of people, I didn’t find any of my clues but mine did lead us to other people’s stuff - good to be a part of it!

In the evening we went to a pool party and BBQ - it was fun to meet more new people (including another girl from Manchester!!) and to hang out.

I got to first service this morning and got a free afternoon now - gonna head to starbucks and maybe the movies too! Definitely gonna get to pre-service prayer and the evening service tonight!!

One other bit of exciting stuff is that I get to help out with making the new Bethel Music live DVD!! I’m gonna be one of the privileged few in the crowd for one on the nights of filming, and then I get to move stuff out when we’ve finished!! Looks like I managed to bring some of my set-down anointing with me…!

Good news, I am still having a wonderful time, learning a lot of things and experiencing the love of Jesus. I almost have a tan in places too.

I’ve realised that I’m quite an introvert and coupled with a mildly low self-esteem, I find introducing myself to people quite hard, sometimes I agonize over it, but actually once you do it, it’s usually fine. I’m not great at small talk beyond the obvious (where are you from? what instrument do you play? no I don’t support Manchester United), but with a few exceptions everyone here is really warm and friendly and up for getting to know one another.

I don’t leap into friendships like some people seem to, I guess I like to grow into them. I’m not one to go introduce myself to the Bethel staff and start conversations with them - in fact I don’t think I’ve spoken to anyone “famous” yet - mainly because I don’t really know what I’d say. Other than something encouraging about how much I enjoyed their talk/song/album. Maybe I should try that - everyone loves to be encouraged, right?

Aside from my social concerns, I’m having a great time - journalling is a revelation (where has it been all my life?! these journals are going to contain stories I’ll tell my grandkids about, and pass them on when I’m gone so they can read about what I’ve won for them and so my ceiling is their floor… I’m gonna leave a spiritual legacy 10 generations long at least!!) and I’m enjoying writing songs. Lots of inspiration now, lots of perspiration to come.

Read More